I was in school when I read Dominique Lapierre's The City of Joy.Life not having unravelled its many experiences as a girl in her teens I did not fully understand why Dominique Lapierre referred to Kolkata-a dirty, sweaty , ocean of humanity as a city of 'joy'? I had spent some childhood years in Pondicherry and was least fascinated by Kolkata.
As I grew up and entered into the threshold of Presidency College I got the first taste of freedom. My parental control was slightly relaxed. I loved my college days in Presidency. I began to discover a new love for Kolkata- College Street was filled with excitement- the smell of old books, the addas at Coffeee House and the best of places was ofcourse our own Presidency College Canteen.College Street happened to be the 'raison d'être' for the city of joy. Those who existed beyond the peripheries of Presidency and College Street were hardly considered to be a part of the city of joy. In the transition from College to University half the charm of the city of Joy was lost - we moved to the Ballygunge Campus of Calcutta University.The Best of my friends had left for other universities or for Civil Service. Without Presidency and without my best friend life was not the same.
Soon I fell in love- real love not infatuation. I again discovered the city of joy- this time it was Gariahat ( our meeting points), Esplanade, Park Street. I rediscovered the city of joy.The city of joy gave us space, shielded us from prying eyes and weaved our dreams. I was happy , I was a new 'me'?
In two years I completed my post graduation, got married and entered into a life which for a time was confusing, less amusing and seemed to be so very suffocatingly serious. I learnt to accept reality, I learnt the values of compassion, humility, acceptability and the realization that I am the builder of my life- I have the choice to be either happy and adjusting or miserable. I was growing up in the true sense of the word. But what happened to the city of joy- it had become a city of day to struggle, apprehensions with very few surprises.
Then on the 11th of May, 2001 came my little bundle of joy- my son Aurodeep. The City of Joy had given an everlasting , eternal source of Joy. I rediscovered all the happiness of life when my baby smiled at me.
When my baby was about a year old I decided it was time to put into use all my education, it was time to go out and do what I always dreamt of since a child- I wanted to be a teacher. I again began a life of struggle - the crucial balancing of career and home . I had all the support of a wonderful family . But the city of joy was kind of disappearing. I heard stories from friends and relatives of the how happy life was if one went out of the city.How I wished we could move to another city for a change.
That is how we came to Hyderabad. I was excited about starting a new chapter in life. We were happy with new jobs and a new life.
But even in times happiness I was trying to understand what was missing. Every joy was incomplete, for days I would wander why was there this sense of loss even amidst so much happiness and comfort. I began to look for this in Tagore's songs- it was like magic, I was back to the city of joy. When out in the streets my ears would strain to catch a few words in Bengali while my eyes would try catching a glimpse of arms wearing the red and white bangles. Kolkata , Kolkata why do you pull me back? Why do you entice me with your magical charm? Realisation- what was it about? The City of Joy had always existed- the rush, the dirt , the traffic, the 'miccheels' , the acceptability, the tolerance made up the city. The joy is not without but within.Kolkata embraces and shelters all.Now when I attend workshops and training programmes I always come across a homesick Calcuttan whose ultimate wish is to go back . Every moment of one's existence outside the city brings a longing for its missing warmth, its cultural richness, its intellect and enlightenment.
My love for the city has matured with age, its a different level of longing. I too am a Calcuttan waiting to go back to my city of dreams, to my city of love.
